


The Fall of the Emperor

by Sadihime



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Depression, Drama, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Multiple Personalities, Other, Psychological Drama, Realization, Slow To Update, Suicide, Tragedy, Triggers, dark themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-13 06:46:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3371738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadihime/pseuds/Sadihime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many compared Akashi to a king, an emperor, and sometimes, even a god. He always stood above others as someone you could see but never truly reach. They had never thought that he could look so fragile, so weak, but as they stared at Akashi right now, hooked up with machines in a desperate effort to keep him alive, they realized that Akashi was human too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Red Is the Color of Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Here I go again~ I know I shouldn't start another multi-chaptered fic, but this has been bugging me for months! I had to write it.
> 
> The Fall of the Emperor is all about Akashi and his relationship with the Generation of Miracles. As always, it has a serious tone, just like all my writing. This idea came to me when I read someone asking what did Akashi's father think about the loss and that he was disappointed. I don't remember where I read it, probably the fanbook...I'm not so sure. Anyway, this is a what-if situation. What if the Winter Cup finals didn't end the way it did? What if Akashi's problem got worse?
> 
>  **Warning:** Dark-themes, triggers, depression, psychological problems, unbeta-d, slow updates. Will add more if needed.
> 
> Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basket is not mine.

 

 

Akashi stared at the scoreboard, eyes wide with disbelief. Cheers erupted from all around, but it seemed so far away. The area around him seemed to darken, slowly closing in, muffling all sounds, until there was only a single spotlight on him. He opened his mouth to speak, his voice loud, piercing the silence that suddenly settled in.

 

"I lost."

 

A single tear fell from his golden eye.

 

* * *

 

It was a month after the Winter Cup finals—Akashi was staring at the mirror, once he held an immaculate appearance, one that showed confidence and strong pride, but as he stared at the mirror now, he could only see what was left of it. His hair, a beautiful red, had lost its luster, now nothing more than a dishevelled mess, eyes that once shone with brilliance and wisdom beyond his age, now hollow and dead. He remembered standing tall, back straight and shoulders squared, but now he was far from that.

 

He smiled. It was a bitter smile, one that tasted of defeat and humiliation.

 

Oh, how far and hard he had fallen from his throne. It was laughable.

 

And so, he laughed, voice laced with madness as it reverberated around the room.

 

He brought up two pale arms, slowly and carefully. He could see red, the wonderful crimson that his name was associated with—it was a reminder of what he was, why he existed—to be the heir of the Akashi family. He had given up  _everything_  for it...only to have what he had worked his entire life for ripped away from him by one mistake—just one.

 

Just one, and it was all over.

 

Transferring his gaze back to the mirror, he stared straight at his reflection, stepping closer, disregarding the splashing sound that seemed so far away.

 

Heterochromatic eyes stared back.

 

It was mocking him, that golden eye. It reminded him of what he had lost and what he had now.

 

A trembling hand covered it, drops of liquid dripped down his arm. Now, he only saw red, but it still wasn't enough. He needed more—it was the only thing he had and he wanted more.

 

Madness crept around the edges, slowly closing in, surrounding him with black abyss. A flash of gold and madness struck, quickly devouring him.

 

The hand over his left eye plunged in, red splattered against the mirror as pain exploded—unimaginable pain. He gasped as his hand delved deeper. He was now shaking, the pain was even more torturous—it was a miracle that he hadn't passed out yet. In a quick snap of a hand, he  _pulled_. A loud scream tore out from his throat. How undignified of him.

 

His body fell like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Red liquid splashed, it was wet and cold.

 

The pain from before seemed to lessen as time passed by, it wasn't soon until he was numb. All the pain and agony that he felt before disappeared, he was finally  _free_.

 

Something rolled away from his hand, stopping in front of his line of vision. He stared at it as it stared back, red and gold clashing as darkness crept around the corner, always waiting.

 

The last thing he heard was the sound of the door slamming followed by a shrilling scream.

 

Darkness consumed him.

 

 


	2. Chapter 1: If Only He Had Done Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was there with Akashi, he had seen the signs and it was as Akashi said, it was only but a simple matter to change it. But, he had done nothing and maybe if he did as what Akashi would do, then maybe he wouldn't be pondering about the possibilities now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow... Where do I begin? This chapter should've been out ages ago but I got stuck on something so I had to revise a lot of stuff and cut them off and put it in the next chapter. Yep, this chapter is supposed to be longer, but well, you gotta do what you gotta do! I apologize for the long wait though...

 

Takao scanned the gym, brows furrowed in concentration as he tried to figure out what was different. It was as if something was missing... His eyes widened as his mouth shaped into an 'o'.

"Shin-chan's missing!" he exclaimed, arms waving up and down, successfully catching everyone's attention.

Miyaji removed the water bottle from his mouth as he took a look around. "Now that you mention it..." he trailed off, an eyebrow beginning to twitch in irritation. "Where the hell is that brat?" he growled out, frowning.

Kimura furrowed his brows. "This is kind of weird. He's usually the first one here."

Miyaji turned to face Takao. "Shouldn't you know, Takao? You're the one who's always with that guy." He raised a brow at the expression on their point guard's face.

Takao let out a strained smile as he forced out a laugh. "Hehe...well..." he trailed off, tilting his head as he remembered what happened earlier.

He passed by Midorima's house earlier to pick him up, but was left standing there outside the shooter's door, ringing the doorbell for what seemed like hours before he found out, from Midorima's little sister no less, that her older brother already left the house much earlier.

He felt his eye twitch when he realized that he had been stood up, but he refused to show an ugly face to MIdorima's surprisingly cute sister so he just smiled and patted the green-haired child's head which resulted to his embarrassment as the said child bluntly told him that he was wasting her time and that he should leave because he had no more business there. A part of him wondered if their kind of tsundere-ness was hereditary and the miracle shooter's sister was, unfortunately, blessed with the same trait.

His morning didn't end there. He remembered all those pointed looks that left him grumbling as he paddled the rickshaw, that Midorima insisted they used as their transportation to school, all alone. At least, when he was with Midorima, he could share the humiliation.

Before Takao could open his mouth and say something, the gymnasium's doors opened and in came their coach and captain. Takao was about to greet them as loud as he could when he noticed the frowns plastered on both of their faces.

Takao shared a look with the others before asking warily, "What's going on?"

The entire team seemed to have felt the sudden shift in the atmosphere and focused their attention on the coach and the captain.

Coach Nakatani stepped forward and cleared his throat, as if he needed to get their attention when all eyes were already on him. "As you may have noticed, Midorima is currently not here and will not be here for an indefinite amount of time." He stated, raising a hand to silence the murmuring. "He has important matters to attend to— _private matters_." He emphasized, giving Takao a pointed look when he was about to open his mouth. "Anyway, he said that he would be back after everything is taken care of and wishes that you would all understand his predicament."

Takao stared at the coach before glancing at the others who just shrugged and shook their heads.

 

* * *

 

Midorima sat on a chair with his feet planted on the ground, elbows propped up on his lap as fingers tangled together, his chin placed on top. He opened his eyes, revealing weary, emerald eyes that glanced up at the digital clock on the far side of the room. It had been hours now and still, the seemingly lifeless body on the hospital bed showed no signs of waking up.

To think that things would go this far, he felt as if he had failed his friend, his first friend—as much as he didn't want to admit that—He had known Akashi for years, their families were in close business with each other and were also personal friends. Out of all of them, he was the one closest to Akashi, he was always by his side and yet, he had missed the redhead's deteriorating mental health—No—it was not as if he had missed it, he had his suspicions, yet he had done nothing but let it worsen to the point that this happened.

Attempted suicide...

Midorima curled his hands into fists, his well-filed fingernails digging into his palms creating shallow, crescent-shaped marks. It was horrible, just completely horrible. Not even Oha-Asa could have predicted this. He opened his eyes again and scanned the room. He saw Aomine by the corner with his eyes closed and like him, had his arms crossed over the other, at first glance, he would be asleep, but the stiffness of his shoulders as well as the tight grip on his arms said otherwise. The tanned male was probably as frustrated as him.

His eyes moved to the one beside Aomine. One would obviously think that Kise would be bawling his eyes out, but none of that happened. The current face the blond wore was something you would compare with a wall. He had never looked so emotionless before, so closed off to everything as his amber eyes stared at the floor, as if the tiles held all the answers in the world. As if they could tell him why—why this did happen?

He glanced at the one beside him on the floor. The purple-haired teen never looked so small before as he sat, curled up on the floor, hugging his knees as he leaned back on one of Midorima's legs. It was extremely hard to deny the teen of anything right now as he slept, brows furrowed, letting out small whimpers now and then. Midorima could not forget the way the purple-haired teen had cried himself to sleep, whispering Akashi's name between pitiful sobs. Akashi had always spoiled him rotten.

Midorima watched them, he knew that they all blamed themselves for what happened, but he also knew that no one blamed himself more than their last member. He stared at the corner near the redhead's bed. Kuroko was sitting on the floor, back against the wall, burying his face on his knees as he embraced it as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. It didn't take a genius to know that their smallest member felt the guiltiest of them all. It was his team's win that pushed the redhead off the edge—that much was obvious, not one could deny that, but it was also clear that any defeat would be too much for the redhead to handle.

They knew that the redhead had a tough childhood. Being trained into a perfect heir at the age of two, he had already started learning studies much too advance for his age. He was expected to succeed in all areas, to always be perfect in every way, he had taken in so many responsibilities, putting even more burden on his shoulders, and as he grew up, it only worsened. It was amazing enough that he had only broke down now.

Midorima sighed as his eyes landed on Akashi for the umpteenth time. The redhead usually looked so strong and powerful despite his small stature. Nothing prevented him from achieving his goal. He could easily persuade people into following his every command, and those who stood in his way were easily destroyed. Many compared him to a king, an emperor, and sometimes, even a god. He always stood above others as someone you could see but never truly reach. Midorima had never thought that he could look so fragile, so weak, but as he stared at Akashi right now, hooked up with machines in a desperate effort to keep him alive, he realized that Akashi was human too.

Midorima still remembered when he received that call.

 

 

_Midorima was awakened by the sound of his phone's annoying ringing. He cursed his phone as he sluggishly reached for it on the nightstand. "Hello...?" he answered sleepily._

" _Shintarou, it's me."_

_Midorima blinked, furrowing his brows. "Father?" he blinked again. He slowly sat up, turning the bedside lamp on and reaching for his glasses, slipping it on as he leaned against the headboard. "Why are you calling? It's-" he glanced at the clock on the side of the room. "-it's five in the morning. I have school later." He frowned as he tried to calculate the remaining time he had before he would start his morning rituals._

" _I apologize, Shintarou." He heard his father's low voice say. "I assume that you would want to know what happened immediately."_

" _What is it, Father?" Midorima asked now fully awake as he sensed the hint of urgency in his father's usual calm voice. "What's going on?"_

" _It's about Seijuuro."_

_Midorima's eyes widened with each word his father said. "I'll be there immediately!"_

 

* * *

 

_After putting on his clothes, the cab that he had called for earlier, arrived just on time. He immediately told, practically shouted, the driver to take him to Midori Hospital. Midori Hospital was a private hospital owned by the Midorima Family, his father being the current director. It was the largest private hospital with branches in different parts of Japan and was in partnership with the Akashi Conglomerate for generations, one of the reasons why any related medical emergencies of the Akashi Family were made top priority, the other being, that if they angered the Akashi Family, their hospital would be closed down with a snap of a finger, probably._

_When he arrived at the hospital, the sun was already beginning to rise. He paid for his fare and got out of the cab as fast as he could, nodding at the receptionist before going to the Emergency Hall. From what his father had told him, Akashi was in a critical condition. He had already called the others, informing them that their former captain was taken into the ER. Midorima arrived right on time at the front of the operation room, seeing the light of the sign above just turned off._

_Midorima felt his heart pound against his chest, nervousness rushing through his veins. How was Akashi? Did everything turn out fine? Was he going to be alright? Those questions filled his head, making him feel a little light-headed. The suspense was killing him. Just then, the metal door opened too slowly for his liking and out came his father. The blood strains on his gloves and blue scrubs didn't help ease his nerves. Midorima Shinichi removed his face mask, revealing a grim expression._

_Midorima felt his blood run cold. "Father...?" he whispered yet his voice seemed all too loud to his ears._

" _He's stable." His father declared, his expression softening, showing the exhaustion he felt after the intense operation._

_The door behind his father opened, and out came the nurses, pulling a stretcher, Akashi lying soundlessly asleep on it, an oxygen mask on his face and bandages covering his eyes. The horror that Midorima felt when he saw his friend was too much that he had to avert his eyes before taking one last glance as the nurses took the redhead away._

" _He's being moved to a private room in the upper floors." His father stated. "He's still not allowed to have some visitors due to his delicate condition. You may wait outside of his room, for a while."_

_Midorima merely stared at his father with uncomprehending eyes. Delicate? By delicate, did he mean Akashi? No...he couldn't be referring to him, right? Akashi was anything but delicate, he must be pertaining to someone else. Midorima mindlessly followed his father upstairs before sitting outside of the redhead's room, staring at the white-tiled floor._

 

* * *

 

_He didn't know how much time had passed when a pair of shoes stepped into his line of vision. He stared up to find out that Kuroko had arrived._

" _Kuroko..." Midorima solemnly greeted with a nod._

" _Midorima-kun." Kuroko responded. "What happened?" he asked quietly, concern showing in his usual impassive face._

_Midorima licked his lips before speaking. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to wait for the others."_

_Kuroko was about to protest when he saw the unnatural worry in Midorima's eyes. He nodded silently before sitting on the chair across the miracle shooter. It was silent and no one had the incentive to break it. The awkwardness finally broke when they heard footsteps running towards them. They saw Aomine and Kise arguing as they came nearer while Murasakibara just followed them silently, a lollipop in his mouth._

" _What the fuck is happening, Midorima?!" Aomine demanded, glaring at the other as if he was the cause of everything. "The security outside is so tight! We wouldn't have gotten in if Murasakibara hadn't arrived to scare them!"_ _"_

" _Yeah, Midorimacchi!" Kise agreed, nodding. "Does it have something to do with what you messaged us about with Akashichii?"_

_As the two continued to ask questions and complain at the same time, the noise the two was making was loud enough to give Midorima a headache. Midorima, nearing his breaking point, was already ready to yell at them to shut up, when Murasakibara's well-timed question managed to do it for him._

" _Is Aka-chin alright, Mido-chin?"_

_Aomine and Kise immediately snap their mouths shut. By this time, Kuroko already stood up from his seat, silently demanding for some answers, too._

_Midorima wondered how he would tell them everything his father said. Everything he heard, each word spoken to him, it sent a stab of pain and guilt in his heart and now, he himself was going to say those words to his, as much as he didn't want to admit it, friends. Midorima let out a frustrated groan before blurting out._

" _Akashi tried to kill himself!"_

_The statement made everyone freeze, eyes widening._

" _...What?" Kuroko quietly muttered in shock, his blank mask shattering._

" _What. The. Actual. Fuck?" Aomine scrunched up his face, clenching his hands. "Oi, Midorima, you better explain everything right now." He practically growled out. Kise remained quiet beside the tanned male while behind the two, Murasakibara stopped eating, noticeably confused._

_"I would have done that already if you all would've shut up!" Midorima glared at Aomine before sighing. "My father called me earlier...apparently, the hospital got a direct call from Akashi's Tokyo residence, it was one of the maids." He paused for a bit, massaging his temples. "She found Akashi in his room by the mirror, he was covered in blood, he was practically lying on a puddle of it."_

_Aomine frowned, the other's remaining silent, looking sickly pale._

" _She immediately called Father, of course." Midorima continued, his voice cracking. "Father told me, when he got there that Akashi had cuts all over his forearms and upper body. It was most likely self-inflicted. Then..." he paused, swallowing. "Akashi's eye was missing, they found it near him." Midorima gritted his teeth._ _"He gouged out his own eye. What was he thinking?!" he practically hissed out as he curled his hand into fists, shaking._

_It was silent in the hallway as all of them pondered over Midorima's words. Everything felt surreal. The image of Akashi, standing tall and proud, smirking at them as he lead them to victory, flashed in their minds. The Akashi they know would never do that. Akashi would never, ever do something like that._

_Before any of them could respond, the door to Akashi's room suddenly opened, with his lips pressed into a straight line, Midorima's father came out, along with some nurses who he immediately dismissed. A sudden foreboding feeling settled within all them. They didn't say anything when Midorima Shinichi frowned or when he sighed, but they knew that whatever announcement he would say would be worse than what they had already heard._

" _I see you've all gathered here." Midorima Shinichi stated, sighing as he ran a hand through his green hair._

_They all remained silent apprehension._

" _I'm not supposed to disclose any information given the sensitivity of the whole situation, but...because of the situation itself, I will tell you. I'll go straight to the point." Shinichi said, a little more quietly than usual. "I'm sure Shintarou has informed you of the circumstances."_

_They all nodded._

" _Well then," Shinichi started, speaking in a low voice. "As you know, he had arrived here with lacerations all over his upper body, along with a missing eye. We, of course, responded to the situation accordingly and had him brought to the operation room immediately. The lacerations were easy enough, since not all of it required any stitches. The situation with his eye, though, was a lot more complicated." He paused allowing the information to sink in._

" _What do you mean, Father?" Midorima inquired with apprehension._

" _We had to perform surgery on it to stop it from bleeding. It was a delicate, but successful operation. However, due to the extensive damage done to his left optic nerve, it needed to be cut off to prevent any infection. I'm afraid that he would never be able to see, much less use his left side of his vision."_

" _You mean..." Kise started, biting his lower lip in nervousness before continuing, "You mean that even if Akashicchi would have a surgery to replace his eye, it would still be useless? He still wouldn't be able to see?"_

_Shinichi nodded, his lips set in a frown._

" _I'm gonna be sick..." Kise whispered, looking green. The others remained silent mulling over this recent development._

" _There's one last piece of information I need to tell." Shinichi added as closed his eyes and breathed in._

" _More?!" Aomine suddenly exclaimed. "You're telling me that apart from all that shit, there's still more?!" he practically growled out. Midorima, noticing the dark-teen's aggressive state, tried to hold him back from doing anything reckless._

" _Calm down." Midorima muttered as he squeezed Aomine's shoulder. Aomine stared at Midorima before he exhaled deeply and complied, moving at the very back of the group._

_Shinichi ignored the outburst, unfortunately used to such incidents. "As I said before, Seijuuro's condition is stable. However..." Shinichi trailed off, unsure how to explain it to them._

" _What is it?" Murasakibara asked in a small voice, looking lost and worried at the same time._

_Shinichi sighed. "Due to the extreme shock and trauma his brain was put under, his brain has shut itself down to protect itself from anymore damage."_

_Everyone's eyes widened. "No..." Kuroko whispered as he realized what this meant._

_A coma._

" _Can..." Murasakibara whispered, eyes downcast. "Can we go see him?"_

" _Right now, he's in a stable condition, so I'll allow you inside. Make sure you all behave properly or I will be forced to keep you out." Shinichi informed them with a steely gaze._

_All of them nodded._

_Shinichi nodded. "Go on in." He gestured before leaving the teens. He had no doubts in his mind that his son and the others would behave themselves. He now had other pressing matters to attend to._

_Where the hell was Akashi Masaomi in his son's time of need?_

_Midorima Shinichi stomped his way towards his office. His friend better had an explanation._

 

* * *

 

_There was a moment of silence where the former team of Teiko just stood there at the hallway, ignoring the nurses and other patients that passed by as they stared at each other before they stared at the door confused, afraid, but determined at the same time. The information they received was too much, too heavy for them to fully comprehend, to fully realize. Moments passed before Midorima decided to be the first one to go in, he was soon followed by the others. They knew what happened to Akashi, a part of them knew what to expect, but still they were not prepared to see the one who they call captain, their leader, on his most vulnerable moment._

_Akashi was lying on the hospital bed, hooked up with all kinds of machines, and was horrifyingly still. If it weren't for the steadily beeping sound of the heart monitor and the faint rise and fall of his chest, they would have thought that Akashi was already dead. From what they could see, Akashi's whole torso and arms was covered in bandages, just as well because they didn't know how they would react if they saw all his wounds._

_Then, they noticed the bandages wrapped around his eyes and finally, the situation had sunk in._

 

_Akashi tried to kill himself..._

 

_Akashi tried to kill..._

 

_Akashi tried to..._

 

_Akashi tried..._

 

_Akashi..._

 

* * *

 

Midorima closed his eyes. It had been three days since then and neither one of them had left the room for more than an hour. He wondered what the others were thinking. Were they feeling the same thing as him? Were they also feeling guilty? Were they thinking that if they had acted when they saw the signs, would they prevent this? He was there with Akashi, he had seen the signs and it was as Akashi said, it was only but a simple matter to change it. But, he had done nothing and maybe if he did as what Akashi would do, then maybe he wouldn't be pondering about the possibilities now.

Midorima opened his eyes when he heard a sound.

Suddenly, Kise stood up, startling the others in the room. Muraskibara stirred but remained asleep.

"I... I can't deal with this anymore." Kise whispered. "I need a break, excuse me." He left, running his hand through his hair in distraught.

It was silent before Aomine also stood up. "I'm following him in case he does something reckless." He didn't wait for a response as ran through the door.

Midorima and Kuroko merely stared at them as they left. They didn't call him out that  _he_  would be the reckless one, not Kise. They didn't follow them, they understood. Kise needed space just like they needed it, and Aomine was able to actually act in a calmwhen the situation called for it. By this time, Murasakibara had already awakened drowsily staring at the floor. Midorima felt a buzz from Murasakibara and watched as he fetched his phone, looking at the message before putting it back in his pocket.

"Who's that?" Midorima asked quietly when he noticed the annoyed look the other wore.

"Eh? It's Muro-chin and the others." Murasakibara replied. "They keep asking me where I am, but I don't want to tell them. They keep calling and messaging me. It's annoying." Murasakibara complained he scratched the back of his head before blinking. "Ah...I want snacks." He grumbled.

Midorima observed the other as he continued to grumble, he noticed Muraskibara's eyes, it was red and a little swollen, probably from crying in his sleep. Murasakibara definitely needed to rest.

"Murasakibara," Midorima called out, attracting the giant's attention. "I think you should go back to Akita for now."

Murasakibara's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?"

"You need rest."

"No, I don't want to Mido-chin." The change in Murasakibara's mood was evident as he rose to full height and glared down at Midorima, a frown settled on his lips. "I don't want to go home, I want to be with Aka-chin."

Midorima sighed. "Murasakiba—"

"No!" Murasakibara exclaimed, stomping his foot. "I don't want to leave Aka-chin. Aka-chin is still sleeping so I want to be with Aka-chin until he wakes up." Murasakibara lips trembled. "I don't want to leave Aka-chin... I..." he trailed off, biting his lips as he bowed his head, his bangs overshadowing his eyes.

Midorima's eyes widened as Murasakibara started to tear up. The purple-head tried to hold it in but Midorima could see that he was about to cry. Midorima stared before he stood up. He should have phrased that a little more differently. "Calm down, Murasakibara."

Murasakibara stayed silent as he tried to stifle his sobs.

Midorima was at a lost. It was the first time he had seen Murasakibara like this—Midorima's eyes widened. No... No, this wasn't the first time. He had seen Murasakibara like this before, back in middle school, back when people used to tease him about his height. The team found him in the locker looking almost as distraught as this, he didn't stop crying until Akashi came along and told everyone to leave because he would take care of it. They didn't know what happened, but Murasakibara came out with Akashi later on as if nothing happened, yet Murasakibara's eyes looked brighter than ever.

Midorima didn't know what to do, he wasn't Akashi.

"Murasakibara-kun," Kuroko suddenly stood up attracting both Murasakibara and Midorima's attention. He looked exhausted as well with his skin looking sickly pale. "I agree with Midorima-kun. Murasakibara-kun, you need to rest."

Murasakibata gritted his teeth as he glared at Kuroko with teary eyes. "No... I don't wanna! You can't make me, Kuro-chin. I want to stay with Aka-chin!"

Kuroko straightened his lips before sighing. "I understand, Murasakibara-kun but, unlike you, Midorima-kun and I live here in Tokyo, you are far away from home right now and your family and friends are worried about you since you haven't informed them yet. Besides, I don't think that Akashi-kun would want you to stop taking care of yourself. Remember what Akashi-kun said the last time?" he let out a small smile.

Murasakibara opened his mouth and was about to protest before hesitating, changing his mind, he frowned and asked, "What about Kuro-chin and Mido-chin?"

"We'll be able to take care of ourselves." Midorima replied.

Murasakibara stared at them, blinking. "Okay..."he whispered in defeat. He gathered his bag he had brought the first day and went to the door, hesitating for bit before bidding them farewell.

Midorima turned to Kuroko. "What did Akashi say last time?" he questioned.

Kuroko shook his head. "I don't know."

Midorima blinked in surprise. "Then..."

"Remember when Murasakibara-kun cried like that?" Midorima nodded. "Akashi-kun said something to him, I don't really know what it was but it helped Murasakibara-kun somehow. I just guessed that whatever Akashi-kun said, well, it would work this time around."

Midorima shook his head in disbelief.

"Midorima-kun."

"What?" Midorima rasied a brow.

"I think Midorima-kun should go rest too."

Midorima immediately frowned. "I don't need to, I'm fine. If anyone needs some rest, it's you—not that I'm concerned or anything, you just look like a mess, it's disgusting."

"I see..." Kuroko deadpanned. "Well, I'm worried about Midorima-kun."

"I don't need your concern!" Midorima exclaimed, ears turning red. He crossed his arms and turned away. "Why do you want me to leave anyway?"

"No reason. It's just that, I don't think Akashi-kun would want you being deredere over him." Kuroko replied.

"I'm not." Midorima refuted before taking a glance at the other teen, looking at those blue eyes. He cried too much. Midorima sighed. "But, I do need to rest so I will go home but I'm not going home just because you said so. I'm going home because I wanted to."

"Of course." Kuroko smiled.

Midorima approached the door, opening it. He took one step out of the room before pausing in his steps, hand still on the doorknob, not even turning to look at the smaller teen. "You know..." he said in a low tone. "You shouldn't blame yourself. It's not your fault. Akashi wouldn't blame you at all."

There was a moment of silence before he heard a response,

"I see..."

Midorima closed his eyes and was about to leave when Kuroko spoke again.

"Then, Midorima-kun... You should also listen to your words and stop blaming yourself."

Midorima opened his eyes in surprise and glanced back only to see Kuroko staring at Akashi. He paused for a minute before closing the door.

Midorima leaned against the door as he stared at the wall across him. "Stop blaming myself, huh." he whispered to himself.

 

* * *

 

Midorima navigated himself through the hospital's hallways, passing by many rooms both empty and not when he saw his father coming from the opposite direction.

"Father." Midorima greeted with a nod.

"Shintarou, I was just about to go to you." Shinichi said with a stoic face, a usual with him, Midorima noted.

"Is there something wrong?" Midorima asked, curiosity piqued.

"Yes, I just saw your friends leave earlier and was about to suggest that with you and the invisible one."

Midorima blinked. "What do you mean, Father? I thought we agreed that I could stay here for the time being."

"We did, but Shintarou..." Shinichi looked at his son straight in the eye. "Seijuuro will not be waking up soon."

Midorima felt his heart sank. "I know."

"If you do, then you wouldn't waste your time here." Shinichi stated. "Your mother has been hounding me about it and your little sister is missing you. Go home for now, at the same time, attend your classes."

"But—" Midorima protest was cut short when he saw his father's glare.

"I know you mean well, Shintarou, but I will not have your grades be jeopardized, not even for a friend, who, may I add, is in perfectly capable hands. You have your own duties to fulfil. Seijuuro would understand that most of all." Shinichi narrowed his eyes as he reprimanded his son. "Do you understand, Shintarou?"

Midorima frowned before bowing his head. "I understand."

"Do not worry so much, I will inform you if there are any changes. Also..." Shinichi trailed off looking uncharacteristically pensive.

"Father?"

Shinichi stared at his son and shook his head. "Nevermind. You may go."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, this chapter focuses on Midorima's POV. I felt that his is the best one to explain what happened to Akashi and clarify things. Each one of them will have a whole chapter with their POV until Akashi wakes up. Once he wakes up things will focus on him and probably only him for some time. So yeah, I intend to say all that needed to say with the other characters until we get there.
> 
> About Akashi's condition, I'm not really an expert on anything medical, so it's safe to say that what was stated above may not be accurate at all. I just tried to be as logical as possible when I explained things. I dunno... /shrugs
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading this! Please review and tell me what you think. The next chapter will probably still be about Midorima since this chapter was cut off.
> 
> Also, check out my other fics if you can~ Thank you~!


	3. If Only He Had Noticed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Akashi who helped him when he didn't even know he needed it. If only he had noticed that Akashi needed help too, then maybe he could have been there for Akashi just like Akashi was there for him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_**He felt frustrated. Nothing he did seemed to have worked. At this rate, he was going to lose.** _

_**He didn't want to lose.** _

_**He refused to lose.** _

_**He couldn't lose.** _

_**He mustn't lose.** _

_**He needed to win.** _

_**He must win.** _

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kise stomped his way through the white hallways, trying to prevent himself from outright running out the hospital. He could hear Aomine calling his name but he opted to ignore that. He didn't need him coming after him. He needed to get away. He couldn't stand that suffocating atmosphere inside that room. It wasn't as if Akashi was dead, they didn't need to react as if he was—it didn't need to feel like he was.

Kise stomped his way through the white hallways, trying so hard to prevent himself from outright running out the building. He could hear Aomine call his name as he passed by the main entrance but he ignored that. He didn't need someone coming after him. He needed to get away, preferably far, far from here. He couldn't stand that suffocating atmosphere inside that room. It wasn't as if Akashi was dead yet they all seemed to react as if he was—Akashi wasn't dead.

Akashi was better than that—than him.

Why did he ever think that today was a good day…?

_Kise was on his way to school, his cellphone in hand. He chuckled softly as he read all the tweets his fans posted about him. He couldn't help but admire how passionate they could be at times. Although, they do tend to terrify him a bit._

_As he approached the crosswalk, the pedestrian light turned red. He couldn't help but sigh and accept that he would be late again to class when his phone vibrated in his hand, flashing Midorima's name on the screen. He couldn't help but smile since Midorima didn't generally send him messages, it was usually him who sent one. Pressing the read button, he wondered if this was just another one of the teen's horoscope announcement which was clearly his tsundere-way of caring, but apparently, he couldn't be more wrong._

_The pedestrian light turned green and a rush of people passed him by from both directions, but Kise didn't seem to notice as he carefully read Midorima's message, his smile slowly dissipating with each word that registered in his brain. For a moment, he thought Midorima was joking but then he remembered that Midorima didn't joke. His hand fell to his side and for a moment, he just stood there frozen as the world rushed around him._

_It was a full minute when he snapped out of his stupor and turned around, running towards the nearest train station. He was on the way to Tokyo. Apparently, Akashi was in the hospital? An emergency? Why on earth would Akashi be hospitalized? As far as he could remember, their redheaded captain never got sick nor injured. He really had a bad feeling about this._

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Kise arrived at the hospital, half running, half-walking towards the entrance when he bumped into someone making him stumble to the side._

" _Ah! Sorry!" Kise said and turned only to face a certain tanned male. "Eh, Aominecchi?"_

" _Yo." Aomine greeted lazily._

" _Did you get Midorimacchi's text too?" Kise asked, finally straightening himself up._

" _Yeah, I wonder what this is about." Aomine grumbled. "I have a bad feeling about all of this. I mean, Akashi's in a hospital? And we need to be here?" He frowned before shaking his head as they started walking to the entrance._

_Kise furrowed his brows. "I'm sure whatever this is couldn't be that bad, Aominecchi." he let out a smile, trying to lift the mood._

_Aomine shrugged as he opened the door, going inside while Kise followed him from behind. Kise blinked as he a guard stopped them for a security check—an incredibly thorough security check. Kise caught Aomine's eyes and knew that they were both thinking that something weird was happening. This was a hospital, a private one but still a hospital so why was the security uncharacteristically tight?_

_After the security was done, they were allowed to continue. Kise bit his lip before voicing his thoughts. "Ne, Aominecchi, am I the only one—"_

" _No," Aomine cut him off. "Something definitely weird is going on." He frowned before taking off to the reception desk._

_Kise lingered behind with a frown. Aomine could be so rude at times, but he couldn't help but agree with him. He heard someone shout and immediately snapped his head to the source just in time to see Aomine smack his hand on the receptionist's table. He immediately ran towards him with the intent to calm him down._

" _What do you mean Akashi isn't here?! That's impossible!" Aomine growled. However, the receptionist didn't show any sign of it bothering her. "I told you I got a text that told him he was here from Midorima himself!"_

" _Please calm down, sir, you're bothering the patients." The receptionist told him in a rather cold tone. "Like I said, sir, we have no records of any Akashi Seijuuro being admitted to the hospital. I'm afraid you're mistaken."_

_Kise frowned, furrowing his brows as he tried to hold Aomine back. Akashi wasn't here? What was going on?_

_Just then, the receptionist suddenly widened her eyes and lifted her gaze. Kise followed her stare up behind him and saw purple. "Murasakicchi!"_

_Murasakibara ignored him—how rude—and merely stared at the receptionist with that bored and rather dead-eyed look as he munched on some chips. "Ne, where's Aka-chin?"_

_The receptionist seemed to be feeling intimidated by Murasakibara's build and height as she let out a stutter. "A-Aka-chin? I'm sorry, sir, but there's no Aka—"_

_Murasakibara glared and came closer to the receptionist. Kise and Aomine could only watched as Murasakibara practically stuck his face as close as he could with the receptionist. "I asked where Aka-chin is."_

_The receptionist seemed to be completely clueless and scared witless as she looked at them for help. Aomine smirked. "He meant Akashi. I suggest you tell us now before he snaps." Kise looked at the poor receptionist guiltily._

_The receptionist gulped and sighed in defeat. "Please quiet down, sirs. I'll explain."_

_Murasakibara let up and was now back to eating._

" _For security reasons, we are to deny any questions about Akashi Seijuuro no matter what." The receptionist said quietly. "Fortunately for you, Midorima-sensei's son has informed me that if I ever see a purpled-haired giant we are to allow him and his friends access."_

_Kise and Aomine sweatdropped. Purpled-haired giant?!_

_Aomine shook his head and decided to get to the point. "What's with all this anyway?" He referred to the tight security._

" _Unfortunately, I don't have the authority to say, sir." The receptionist flinched as Aomine glared. "I apologize but I'm just doing my job." The receptionist said as she straightened up, composing herself as she resumed her stoic expression. "Akashi Seijuuro has been assigned to room 404." She informed them with a cold tone. "Please go before I have to call security."_

" _W-We understand, thank you!" Kise said as he pulled Aomine and Murasakibara away before things escalated. "Let's go, guys." He tightened his grip on both of their arms as a warning, dragging them towards the elevator in a hurry._

 

 

* * *

 

 

_If Kise knew what awaited them, he wouldn't have hurried._

_But, he didn't._

_And now, he could only listen in horror as he found out what happened._

 

" _ **Akashi tried to kill himself!"**_

 

_Midorima's voice rang in his ears, loud, clear, and laced with pain and guilt. Midorima never joked, but right now he wished he did because Akashi attempting to kill himself was a joke—a lie. Akashi would never do that and yet… Kise stared at Akashi, who was lying on the bed looking so peaceful as if nothing was wrong—as if everything was alright, as if he didn't try to kill himself—end his life._

 

_He stared and stared and stared…_

 

_He heard something fall._

 

_He glanced down to see Kuroko, trembling, and eyes wide._

 

_He could hear someone crying._

 

_He turned to see Murasakibara breaking down in tears, murmuring Aka-chin over and over again._

 

_He brought his gaze back to Akashi and wondered why he wasn't crying. He wondered how he could just stand there and stare. He wondered why he wasn't feeling anything. He—_

 

_Kise jerked as he felt something touch his arm. It was Aomine, he was staring at him, looking so worried._

" _Kise, are you alright?" Aomine asked as if Kise was the one who should be asked that. It wasn't him who tried to kill himself, it wasn't him who cut himself all over his body until he bled and bled, it wasn't him who gouged out his own eye, it wasn—_

_Strong arms enveloped him and he found himself buried against broad chest. He could here Aomine's voice whispering it was going to be alright—everything was going to be okay._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kise shook his head willing the memories away.

It had been three days since Kise had reality slap him in the face. He had been waiting, staring at Akashi for something—anything at this point just to break the silence, just so he could pretend that Akashi would wake up any moment now, stare at them with those piercing eyes, and scold them for ever doubting him. It was easier that way but life wasn't easy.

Kise scoffed to himself, a twisted sense of bitterness coursing through him. This was probably life's way of punishing him, spitting on his face a retribution for ever thinking of ending _his own_ life back then before basketball—a time when monotony was synonymous to his life and it was all because he was able to pick things up faster than anyone he knew. If he was interested in something, he would be able to learn it faster and easier. The best thing was, he even got better and beat everybody at their own game. It was great!

Until it wasn't, not anymore. Soon, he found himself living his life by going through the motions all while feeling cold and numb inside. He wanted something that would interest him, something that would make him feel alive. And the next thing he knew, he was carving lines deep within his thighs, trembling as his heart pounded against his chest, the sudden rush coursing through his veins leaving him in a state of euphoria…

…but even that got boring after a while.

So, why not just kill himself?

It was just a passing thought or well, it was supposed to yet somehow it got stuck at the back of his head and he kept wondering in interest what it would be like to die…then he got a basketball to the head and the rest was history.

He met Aomine, Kuroko, Momoi, Murasakibara, Midorima, and Akashi…

When he first met Akashi, he immediately understood why he was the vice-captain despite being in the same year as him. Akashi was, in a word, perfection. He was grace and beauty and power and strength. He had that charisma that made everyone respect him, made everyone want to follow him which was why he, along with everyone else, wasn't surprise that Akashi became the next captain. He was a born leader, it was only natural that he would be the one to lead them into more victories.

Kise turned around a corner, almost bumping into another person. He muttered an apology before resuming his walk.

Akashi had helped them all throughout the years. He helped them with their problems no matter how superficial it all seemed. In fact, it was Akashi who noticed his 'habit', it was Akashi who confronted him about it, and it was Akashi who let him cry on his shoulders as he poured out all his frustrations about his job, his family, and all the expectations everyone had for him. Akashi took all of it with an understanding smile as he rubbed his back with all the love and comfort that he didn't know he could receive.

How could he? How could he not notice when they were both the same? For someone who had great eyes, how could he be so blind? All this time, Akashi was hurting and unlike him, there wasn't someone who noticed and comforted him and rubbed his back and made everything feel better. All this time… Akashi had been alone.

Kise slowed down and found himself standing in the middle of the sidewalk, tears finally falling down his eyes. He gasped as he hastily wiped his eyes with his hands in a useless attempt to stop it. His lips trembled as he sniffled. Ah, it wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. His knees felt weak and as he was about to fall, an arm enveloped him from behind, supporting him.

Slowly, he turned his head and saw Aomine and for a while there was silence.

Kise opened his mouth to say something—anything, when Aomine spoke first.

"Let's go, Kise."

Kise blinked before he found himself burrowing his face into Aomine's neck as he cried, his body shaking with each harsh sob. He felt Aomine tighten his hold, silently comforting him as he led him away.

And later, when Kise was coherent enough to recognize his surroundings, he found himself in Maji Burger with Aomine by his side, seemingly nonchalant as he took a bite on his teriyaki burger.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah...Kise, I didn't even plan that...way too heavy
> 
> Honestly, the chapter feels too short but I don't want to force myself to write it longer than it should be because that would be just...no. And I know that I said I would continue Midorima's chapter but I realized that the timeline would be too confusing so I scratched that.
> 
> And yes, the bold part at the start were Akashi's thoughts. I hope that was clear...if it wasn't well now you know
> 
> Again guys, feel free to review! I hoped you all like this chapter just like I did.

**Author's Note:**

> So? What did you guys think?


End file.
